Dear God; why do humans smell the flowers but seldom, if ever, each other?

Dear God; When we get to heaven, can we sit on the couch? Or is it the
same ole story?

Dear God; Why are there cars named after the Jaguar, the Cougar, the
Mustang, the Colt, the Stingray and the Rabbit. But NOT ONE named
after a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We DO love a
nice ride! Wld it be so hard to rename the Chrysler Eagle the Chrysler

Dear God; if a dog barks his head off in the forrest and no human
hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God; we dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs,
electromagnetic energy fields and frisbee flight paths. What do humans

Dear God; More meatballs, less spaghetti please.

Dear God; Are there Mail men in heaven? If there are, will I have to apologise?

Dear God; Let me give you a list of just some things I must remember
in order to be a good dog;

1, I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2, I will not roll in dead seagulls, fish, crabs etc. just because I
like the way they smell.

3, the litter box is NOT a cookie jar.

4, the sofa is not a face towel

5, the garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6, I will not play tug of war w/ dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

7, sticking my nose into someones' crotch is an unacceptable way of
saying "hello".

8, I don't need to suddenly stand up when I'm under the coffee table.

9, I must shake the rainwater off BEFORE entering the house, not after.

10, I will not come inside and imediately drag my butt.

11, I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my balls.
(yeah, right!)

12, the cat is NOT a squeaky toy, so when he makes that noise, it's
usualy not a good thing.

P.S. Dear god, when I get to heaven, May I have my testicles back?
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.